Category Archives: Reading

Title Rejects

You know you're a writer when... you've spent more time brainstorming the title for your novel than writing.

To title a novel is a process.  Every successful author has one and I’m pretty sure my process -while fun- is flawed.  I don’t know.

It usually starts with a glass of wine, after I’ve had a shot or two.  I complain a little bit about my upcoming task to anyone who will listen…so, my dogs and the one cat who’s too lazy to run away.  Then I sit down at the computer and start typing any title that comes to mind that’s even loosely tied to the novel I’m working on.  Any words or phrases that pop in there.  This strategy works well because there are no rules, nothing is off the table in this moment.

I usually keep going until I find myself typing things like “You’ll Never Pick a Good Title” or “Just Give Up.” At that point, I’m just being negative and clearly a refill of wine is necessary.  But what I’m left with are some great ideas for a title that I get to choose from.

I mean, I haven’t actually chosen any titles that present themselves during these brainstorming sessions, but I figure, if I just keep with it, one day it’ll work.  Maybe.

Here are a few rejected titles from my upcoming novel.  It’s a vampire romance set in New Orleans.

Suck It ……………………………………….I like the blunt approach, but it seems a bit rude.

Bite Me (A Vampire Romance) …At least it’s to the point.

Eat. Drink. Prey. ……………………….Get it?  “Prey?”

Bae in the Bayou ………………………This is just dumb.

I Thought He Drank Wine ……….She made an honest mistake.

My Boyfriend Can Fly ………………Not really the point of the story.  At all.

Love Can Be Draining ………………Too pessimistic.

This Book Has No Title …………….Too honest.

Just Read This ……………………………Too bossy.

There should be a profession where people get paid to read a book and come up with a title for it.  I would pay good money for that service if I ever had any good money.

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Things I Would Rather Do Than Title a Novel

My favorite part of writing a novel is creating the first draft.  With reckless abandon, I can type out anything I want, no matter how stupid it might be, because I know the first draft will never be seen by anyone but me.  I can unleash the creative monster in me and then reign in the insanity little by little with each rewrite.

I’m not a fan of editing.  Like, at all.  While I’m very particular about “your” and “you’re,” “there” and “their,” or “to and too,” everything else pretty much goes to hell in a handbasket.  I’m fairly decent at making crap up, but grammar and punctuation are not my strengths, and as an indie author, I don’t have thousands of dollars to pay a real actual editor.  (Which reminds me, how much are kidneys going for on the black market?  Asking for a friend…)

But figuring out a title for my novel is, by far, my least favorite part of being a writer.  Now, I’ve done some difficult things in my life.  I’ve squeezed some rather large-headed babies out of my teeny tiny girl-parts.  I’ve been through a divorce and I was a single mom for a bit.  I had to leave my newborn in intensive care for just over a month.  I’m a Marine Mom, I’ve had teeth pulled, and I survived Catholic school. I’ve even watched about thirty minutes of The Royal Tenenbaums, and believe me, that was extraordinarily difficult.  But every time I need to come up with a title that sums up a novel I’ve written, it’s just too hard.

So here is a list of five things I would rather do than title my novels.

  1. Vaginally deliver a giant, breech porcupine.
  2. Solve an algebra problem.  Sober.
  3. Lick a U.S. dollar bill.
  4. Get an enema.
  5. Get kicked in the face by a donkey wearing baseball cleats.

What do you hate most about your job?

The Search History of a Writer

I’ve always searched any topic without a second thought while writing my novels. Because who wouldn’t search “how long would it take to bleed out if your wrists were slit and you’re hanging upside down?” (A little odd for a romance author, sure, but I needed to know.)

It wasn’t until I searched “what kind of explosives would most effectively blow up a church” that I realized I might be red flagged by almost every U.S. federal agency. For the record, the church in my novel was abandoned, save for a vampire meeting that was taking place.

So I took a moment to review my search history. Here are a few things that might look bad if someone didn’t know I write fiction.

– Best blade to effectively decapitate a head

– Amount of explosives needed to blow up a brick building

– Where can you buy detonation cord (Quick shout out to the ATF- in case you’re watching!)

– Are feral pigs dangerous

– Can you ride an alligator (This one was just for my own curiosity.)

– How much blood can a person lose before they die

– Does a severed human arm float in water

– Can a vampire have babies with a human

It’s amazing, the things you learn while writing a story. I know a lot about airboats and how to drive them. I’m not sure what to do with that. I know what to do in the event of an alligator attack. I’m not sure why an alligator would be hanging around the Midwest, but you never know.

When I die, I’ll need someone to clear my search history for me. On second thought, leave it there. It’ll be more fun that way.

What’s the oddest thing in your search history that you’re willing to admit? Share in the comments!

Best Nook to Read a Book

The left is all me, but I’d be happy anywhere! How about you?

Worlds Apart: Happy Book Release Day!

It’s finally here!  HAPPY BOOK RELEASE DAY!!!

Looking for an escape from the monotonous reality of everyday existence? Let WORLDS APART sweep you away into the colorful landscape of the Great Smoky Mountains on a crisp, cool autumn day!

Meet Therran, and journey with her on the path of love and adventure, as she fights for survival against an enemy whose existence defies reality as she knows it, and forces her to consider there is so much more to our world than we ever could have imagined!

WORLDS APART, available now!

CLICK HERE TO OWN YOUR COPY TODAY!

Worlds Apart

Therran is cute, funny and extremely down to earth but she has a major problem. Someone, or something, wants her dead. The powerful, sexy, Decklan, whose origins are mysterious, was sent to protect her, but she would rather fend for herself. Unfortunately, she has no idea what she’s up against. Through a series of close calls and unexplainable circumstances, she finds herself relying on Decklan, as she gets pulled further into his world, a place she could never have imagined.

WORLDS APART follows Therran on a romantic journey filled with laughter, mystery, and suspense. Therran moved to the Tennessee Mountains hoping for a fresh start in life. But as she was being stalked by something “otherworldly” from inside the woods behind her house, she quickly realized there was more to reality than she thought. She fell into an unbelievable world full of shape-shifters, parallel universes and…whatever Decklan was. With his dark, sexy looks and his powerful presence, Therran is instinctively drawn to him, but the fact that they are from two separate worlds makes things complicated.

Worlds Apart: Countdown to Release!

Brass Pocket Watches

It’s just a matter of hours before WORLDS APART is finally released!  I’m so nervous and excited!  What are you reading tonight?

Worlds Apart: Alternate Dimensions

Could déjà vu and the ‘Mandela effect’ prove that alternate dimensions exist?

Article Image

I thought the above article was both thought-provoking and entertaining.  Full disclosure: I’m on my third Mimosa.

In WORLDS APART, our hero, Decklan, is from “out-of-this-world.”  Years ago when I started writing WORLDS APART, I was fascinated with wormholes, other dimensions, and parallel universes.  I’m the farthest thing from a scientist or physicist as you can find, so I have no authority to speak on this subject.

But as a writer and a dreamer, any concept like this will have me lost in a world of possibilities for hours.

I want to know, what fascinates you?