*Jeff was this boy who lived a few roads down from me. He had this lopsided smile and messy hair that I just adored. One day, Jeff told me to meet him at his house because he wanted to “ask me out.” At twelve that basically meant he would call me his girlfriend and I would call him my boyfriend and we would talk all night on the phone until one of us got in trouble for tying up the line.
So I cranked up the New Kids on the Block, winged out my hair using extra strong hairspray, doused myself in Debbie Gibson’s “Electric Youth” perfume, and walked my happy ass over to Jeff’s house.
He was sitting on his porch smiling at me when I walked up the steps. Then he started laughing at me. Something felt off, but I thought maybe I was just nervous because I really liked him. So I just stood there smiling like an idiot.
After he got his laughter under control, he asked me how I could possibly think he would ever want to be my boyfriend. Turns out getting me to come over there was just a joke. I’m not gonna lie, it stung a little, but I walked away with my head held high. Until I rounded the corner…then I cried like a little bitch.
I’m still not sure why he wouldn’t want to get with this…
Oversized bifocals, a flat chest, and a perm. I don’t think he appreciated all my cool.
Anyway, fast forward about ten years…
I was a manager at a local hotel and one of the housekeepers showed me some pictures from a wedding she went to. I told her the guy next to her looked exactly like this kid Jeff I used to have a huge crush on. Small world…it was actually him!
So I told her the story of what had happened and she was shocked. She said he would feel like an ass if he saw me again, probably because I ditched the bifocals and perm, and obtained some boobs. Boys…
A few days later, Jeff came in with his tail tucked and apologized for what he had done when we were younger. I harbored no hard feelings towards that little asshole, it had been so many years. Although it was my pleasure to decline his invitation to “hang out sometime.”
The next time I heard anything about him was in the local paper. Apparently at some point Jeff got into drugs, and owed his dealer some money. I guess he didn’t want to pay up, so he slit the guys throat and set him on fire instead.
All that time I thought he didn’t like me because I was ugly and not good enough. But it turns out he was really just a bit of a jerk.
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*Names have been changed.