A New Low

There are so many things I take for granted in life.  Like my health, my safety, or the luxury of peeing alone.  Seriously, I haven’t even closed the bathroom door in over twelve years.  What for…they’re just going to find me anyway, I can’t hide.

It’s like my need to urinate has become the official “call to order” of our family meetings. Everyone piles into the occupied bathroom as I try to shield myself with the nearby shower curtain.  I can’t work under this kind of pressure!  Even the dog tries to squeeze in. His fur face just staring at me, unblinking.  What does he think I could possibly have for him at that moment?

Oh, and don’t even get me started on the bubble bath situation.  It’s inevitable, the moment I sink into the tub my daughter has to poop.  It’s like she’s messing with me.

Anyway, I realized what a low I’ve hit in life today when I was tucked away in a dark corner of my room, behind a dresser, eating a Snickers bar while the little one was searching for me.  He was frustrated that I wasn’t answering him, but I couldn’t give up my location.  Not only would I have to share the Snickers bar, but probably he would want to know why I stole it from him in the first place.

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4 responses to “A New Low

  1. Love it! Love you! Love, Mom

    Liked by 1 person

  2. I’m telling him.

    Liked by 1 person

  3. No joke, I am sitting on the toilet right now reading this. I’ve long since done my business but this is the only peace and quiet I get. Admittingly, I’m debating my next move as I didn’t realize there was 1 square of toilet paper left on the roll and I’m short about 10 squares. No but seriously, I fake having to go #2 just to get quiet time b/c that is the ONLY way to not be bothered, at least for a few minutes. 🙂 Great post that can be related to!

    Like

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