How to Silence a Toddler with One Finger


So the little guy is going through the “mom…mom…mom…” phase.  It never ends.  He’s very curious and constantly has something on his mind that he wants to share with me.  Normally I have a deep appreciation for his inquisitiveness, but not before I’ve had at least one cup of coffee.

So this morning, as I’m drinking my coffee, he stands in front of me and starts his endless string of questioning.  I’ve got one eye glued shut with old mascara, drool still coming out of my mouth and I can’t really focus on anything except getting the cup to my mouth.  I looked at him quietly, hoping to communicate with my eye how not up for this conversation I was, but he wasn’t getting it.  In a morning haze, I tried desperately to think of a way to silence him for just a few minutes.  Only half thinking, I slowly extended my finger towards my toddlers face.  He continued talking at sonic speed until I stuck my finger right up his little nostril.  He was instantly silent, and still, moving only his eyes from left to right, I’m assuming to see if anyone else was witnessing the unfolding insanity.  Because it had worked so well, I just kept my finger up there, enjoying the silence and drinking my coffee with my free hand.  It was the most peaceful thirty seconds of my life.


12 responses to “How to Silence a Toddler with One Finger

  1. I almost fell out of my chair when I read how you silenced him! Lol you have a unique parenting style. I wish I had known some of your tips when I was raising you!
    Love, Mom


  2. I have filed this away for when it happens to me! Thanks!


    • LOL! Oh I’ve got plenty of pearls over here. Wisdom is oozing out of me. I just have no idea how many of my solutions are legal. 🙂
      Thanks for stopping in!


  3. Pure genius. I have to try that someday.


  4. Awesome… I was a little worried about what exactly you did with one finger… but this surpassed my wildest expectations… In my humorous sci-fi novel I just published, my hero has to fight an unarmed dual with a very powerful alien who looks a little like a hippo. He wins by sticking his arm all the way up the alien’s snout and putting a finger on the thin membrane covering the alien’s brain and… well… it is hard to explain, and I don’t know why I felt I had to share that… but good post…


  5. ahhh, the bullet-word phase. Goes right through you. Thanks for the hilarity AND solution and priceless laugh!


  6. Oh my god. I’m dying of laughter over here. This is so funny! I’m not sure I’ll try it, but I sure appreciate starting my morning by reading this! Did you know that that is a way to control a horse too? My grandfather used to do it with his big belgium horses. A finger in the nostril and they will quiet down immediately. He once led them out of a frozen lake they had fell through with this technique. Your post made me laugh- loud. Thank you!


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