Gross Jobs. You Do WHAT for a Living???

So I was reading about the worst jobs a person can have and was surprised to see News Reporter on the list.  I didn’t realize that gossiping and being nosy was so difficult.  I do it everyday with a kid on my hip while cooking dinner.

A news reporter is responsible for interviewing people, writing stories for publication, establishing contacts and sources, and fact checking.  I have found five jobs that I think are worse than that.

5.  A 2010 survey found that for every kilometer of coastline there were 8.9 tampon applicators as well as 22.5 pads.  Who’s job was it to walk the coastline and count used feminine products?  I wonder what the interview for that position was like.

4.   Livestock Masturbator.  How do you even explain that one to a potential life partner.  “I’m a nurse.  What do you do for a living, handsome?”  “I jack off animals.  It’s a hard job but someone has to do it. Get it?  ‘Hard job’.”  Check please.  Do you sweet talk the animals first, or just jump right in and get the party started?

3.  Fistula Feeder.  These people stick their hands inside a cow’s naughty hole to check for any digestive issues.  I’m thinking if the cow isn’t vomiting or having explosive diarrhea then it’s probably a non-issue.  They eat grass for Christ’s sake, how messed up can their system get?  Get your hand out of its ass and stop violating that cow.

2.  Semen washer.  Yes, guys.  When you go donate your little cup of love juice, someone has to wade through your little soldiers to make sure they’re up to code before they go marching off to reproduce.  Call me crazy, but I think that playing in someone else’s semen all day would be a lot worse than covering the traffic accident up the road.

1.  Vagina Doctor.  Sure, at first it sounds like a sweet gig, working around vagina’s all day.  Google “blue waffle” images and then get back to me.  Once you see it, you can never un-see it.  You’ve been warned.

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9 responses to “Gross Jobs. You Do WHAT for a Living???

  1. Great. You are consistently funny and, often, pretty damned insightful.

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  2. 1wanderingtruthseeker

    My Eyes! My Eyes! You’re right, I can’t unsee it. You are so funny and I look forward to blogs from you.

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  3. I knew I shouldn’t have read this while eating lunch…

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    • Colleen! You read this at lunch?!? It’s like you don’t know me at all…

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      • I had a rather hard time chosoing just one type of physician I would want to work for. So many of them fascinate me, and with me not really going into any medical field other than support, I never gave this any thought in the past. After reading the list, I am more favorable of working for a neonatologist. It is difficult to think about how neonatologist physicians sometimes have the most difficult job in the world, but I can only imagine how amazing it would be to be a part of saving a baby’s life. I had a coworker once whose baby was born at 36 weeks, and her baby had a lot of heart and lung problems. There were concerns about whether or not they would ever fully develop once she had him, but after many months in the NICU, and many scares that happened during it, the doctors were able to save him and he is now a very healthy 5 year old. It is because of that I have a higher interest in the neonatologist field.I hate to say which type of physician I would care less to work for, and it is because I worry that many will take it the wrong way. When I was 16, I used to help my mom at an assisted living home as a caregiver. We would get to work at 7:00 A.M. every morning to prepare breakfast for four of the elderly men and women that we were caring for. We would then make sure that all bedding was changed, rooms were cleaned, meals were prepared, and appointments were handled. We worked 12 hour days, and they were always grueling. The owner of the home made sure that everyone had their medicine and made it to their doctor appointments on time. However, she was more worried about getting paid for her services than actually helping the elderly. She would yell at them if they did something wrong, and even call them terrible names. My mom reported her and we both quit our job, but it has always left a sting in my heart since then. It is because of my experience with that situation that I do not think I could ever work for a gerontologist. I know that the situations would be much different, but ever since my experience with caring for elderly individuals it is very hard for me to think about assisting a physician in geriatrics because I worry that someone else might treat the elderly in the same way the owner of the home did. I am a firm believer that the elderly deserve the ultimate care and comfort when going through any treatment and aging in general, but I do not think I could ever work in that environment again.

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  4. I just met you but I hate you so bad right now. YES I KNOW YOU WARNED ME. I didn’t listen. I’m off to find a cliff. Good-bye.

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