They say the average child asks somewhere around three hundred questions a day. I don’t know who “they” are, or who “they” interviewed to get this information, but it certainly wasn’t my toddler, who can ask three hundred questions before breakfast. I’m pretty sure he’s gifted. I have three kids total (that I know of) and the types of questions they ask and the questioning style varies.
The toddler asks a ton of questions. Granted, 90% of his questions are “Whatcha doin’?”, “Why?” or “What do you mean you’re going insane?” but it still requires time and energy to answer his constant stream of questioning. They say it’s good to encourage a child to be curious and to ask questions. “Knowledge is power.” Screw that. Mommy tops out at one hundred questions per day so choose your questions wisely.
The nine-year old asks far fewer questions, but in rapid fire style. It can make a head spin for sure. “What’s heaven like?What makes diamonds sparkle?Who invented bubble gum?” Geeze kid…I don’t know…Heaven is full of angels and chocolate, fairy shit makes a diamond sparkle and everyone knows Willy Wonka invented bubble gum.
The teen asks only one question, but he asks it three hundred times a day. “Can I have some money”? Um, no…get a job. My nursing home isn’t going to be cheap you know, you better start saving up now.
I thought of a few ways to cope with this game of 300 questions. The first way was a bottle of wine, but I guess you’re not supposed to drink until 5 pm. Whatever. Who makes these rules??? Also, it’s frowned upon in our society to duct tape our kids mouths shut, even if it’s just for five minutes of peace. Any other suggestions? I’d love to hear from you!