So the teenager brought his girlfriend home to meet the family. She’s sweet and we all like her. Even the dog. He really likes her. He started humping her leg like some sort of porn star on ecstasy. After he violated her, and after the laughing stopped, I explained that we had his balls removed a long time ago, and that his humping was just a sign of dominance, which I think she already knew. I thought to maybe tell her that she could go ahead and hump his leg, you know, to let him know that she is the dominant one, because clearly he understands this kind of interaction and I thought she might like to set the record straight. But then I thought maybe that would be too much for a first meeting.