Silly Little Schoolgirl

Not my actual college…

It’s official!  I’m back in a classroom for the first time in over seventeen years!  College is very different from high school.  The teacher made it very clear she will not be hounding us to do our homework, which really sucks for me because the only reason I ever did homework was to avoid being nagged at.  Where’s my motivation?!  Also, I’m the oldest one in my class.  Although I stick out like a sore thumb an erect penis, I’m super smarter than everyone else in there, so it’s a lot easier for me to look down on them…as they excel at basic math while I still rely on my flash cards with large print.  Oh wait!  There’s one guy older than me.  He kept falling asleep sitting up, and then when his head would fall he would snap back up and snort.  I believe it’s called “narcolepsy”.  Or maybe it was “necrophilia”.  Whatever.  It was amazing how many common sense “rules” the teacher had to go over.  What’s wrong with kids today that you actually have to tell them that they can’t come to class  only until attendance is recorded and then leave and expect credit?  She forgot one rule, though, when she made her little note.  She didn’t tell people they had to keep their shoes on during class.  I would have thought this one was a given, but as I looked around, several people had their shoes off, with their dirty, sweaty socks hanging out, wafting foot funk in my direction.  Gross.  The teacher mentioned it would be a good idea to “make friends” in class.  So I looked around at all the zit faced kids, betting that not one of them has ever picked a booger out of another human beings nose, or been buried elbow deep in baby poop.  I can’t relate, so I’ll just get through this one on my own.  Nobody wants to be friends with the old girl in the back of the classroom who’s a total crab ass first thing in the morning.  In my defense, if it were socially acceptable to have wine for breakfast, I’d be a hell of a lot more pleasant.

Look out nursing world, here I come.  Don’t panic yet, though.  I’m still trying to tackle basic math…

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5 responses to “Silly Little Schoolgirl

  1. I love it. Nursing. Pick a job you love and you’ll never work a day in your life. A smart man said that and I agree.

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  2. LOL yes well, old woman…watch out for those whipper snappers. They might like totally try to bone you.

    Really, good wishes your way. You should be proud.

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  3. Lisa, Lisa…. It’s been sooo long since I’ve had someone at your school call me. This time when you wreak havoc, they’ll call your husband, not your mom, right? Have a blast!

    Love,
    Mom

    P.S. Do your homework!!!! (just like old times, huh)

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  4. Good for you! It’s been a while since I’ve been on WP (I’m calling it my summer vacation mode… but in reality it’s probably just that I’ve been super lazy) and I’m excited to see that you’ve decided to stick with nursing as your calling. I’m also really looking forward to your witty commentary on the class and your funky footed freshman “friends”!! Have fun!
    And oh wait… did you say wine isn’t acceptable in your coffee cup?? So it ain’t so!!! 😉

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  5. My! Favorite! I can relate!

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