How I Ended Up In The Bathroom Stall With The Waitress

Yes, I’m still complaining about the automatic flush toilets.  Yesterday, one was effing with me.  If I felt embarrassment, this would have been a situation that would have scarred me for life.

Some friends and I went to eat at Cooper’s Hawk.  I had to go to the bathroom and the second I saw that it was an auto flush toilet, I knew I was screwed.  I left about five gallons of yellow urine and some toilet paper in the bowl, and then stood up to go wash my hands.  The toilet wouldn’t flush.  So I waved my hands in front of the sensor but it didn’t help.  I pushed the little button on the side, but still no flush.  I even tried to remove the top of the metal box to see if I could somehow figure out the wiring inside, but then I remembered I’m not McGuyver.  I listened and waited for the bathroom to be empty and then I tried to make my escape.  Unfortunately, when I opened my stall, there was a waitress standing against the wall, she had been patiently waiting for me to exit the stall so she could restock the toilet paper.  You have GOT to be kidding me.  I looked back over my shoulder, hoping she wasn’t really going in there, but she was.  So I quickly explained that I was sorry but I couldn’t get the toilet to flush.  She politely assured me that it was okay, as she went in to the stall.  She flushed the damn toilet.  So I went into the teeny tiny stall with her…because why not make this more awkward…and said “no way, how did you do that?” to which she replied “If the sensor doesn’t work you can just push this little button on the side.”  I couldn’t believe it, because I had pushed that button repeatedly so I practically called her a liar to her face.  “Nuh-uh” I said while leaning over to see for myself.  I pushed the button that I had pushed a million times just minutes before, and the mother effer flushed.  “Oh yeah!  Well look at that.” I said.  “Well, have a good evening!” and on that note I exited the stall and washed my hands.  I have no doubt that girl does not get paid enough to flush the toilet for a thirty(ish) year old woman who can’t figure out how to flush it herself.

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13 responses to “How I Ended Up In The Bathroom Stall With The Waitress

  1. LOL I hate public restrooms. I had a post prepped to publish tonight about them but thought I would gross people out. Automatic toilets are horrible.

    LOL I love your blog. I hope you stop over and visit mine. If you like it you can follow through email or there is a facebook like button for my page.

    Like

  2. why am I here in a handbasket?

    Dear Lisa,
    I’m old and can’t read anything on the left side of your page. It’s blending in with the banner, life is better…..
    you’re making me squint and I already have enough laugh lines. :).
    p.s. love this one.

    Like

    • Thank you! Sorry for making you squint. If it makes you feel any better, I make my Mom pee her pants. Suddenly laugh lines don’t seem so bad, right? 🙂 I love your blog, by the way, and always look forward to reading what you have to say. Thanks for leaving a comment!

      Like

  3. 1wanderingtruthseeker

    Loved it. Now if only they could make self cleaning toliets!

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  4. I just love reading your blog! You are such a hoot! I always worry when I’m trying to flush a “normal” toilet, that I will lose my balance AND my shoe while I’m standing on one foot, and flushing with the other!

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  5. Really look forward to your blogs-luv it!

    Like

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