I’ve recently gone back to school, but I’m easing my way into it. I’m only taking one very easy online course. Read a chapter, answer a question. Simple, right? Yeah, except for that my toddler has taken this as a personal challenge to break me. Let me give you an example.
I’m on the back porch with my textbook. My mission is to read Chapter 5. My son’s mission…to make it impossible.
I open the textbook, and it all begins. “Mommy.” “Mommy has to study sweetie. Go play with your toys.” He looks at his toys, and then back at me. After a few seconds of staring at me he says “Mommy!” Just ignore him. Focus on your textbook. “Moooommmmmy.” Clearly this kid is not getting the hint. Oh, look at that. He’s playing the bongos on my textbook. Stay strong. At this point, baby boy moves to plan B. I’m reading my textbook trying to absorb information and the next thing I know he’s climbing into my lap. I maneuver the book around him to keep reading, paying no attention to what he’s doing. Now he’s in my lap, facing me, and he positions himself right in my line of vision. He extends his finger toward my face. What’s he gonna do with…oh, okay, there it goes, right up my nose. “Eww, stop it.” I said. Giggling, he places his hands over my eyes as I try not to laugh. Must resist his charm. “Baby, Mommy has to study this and then we’ll play. I love you.” I kiss his little cheek and place him on the ground. Out of the corner of my eye I notice he’s just standing there looking in my direction. I sneak a quick peek and realize he’s making random goofy faces at me. “Seriously kid, stop being so cute. Go play so mommy can finish this.” At this point, I have no idea what the hell I’ve read so far. Baby boy went over to his toys, and I was optimistic that I would finally be able to get some reading done. Silly Mommy. What the hell was that?! As a toy truck flew in between my face and my book, almost imbedding itself into my jaw, I look over at baby boy, who was looking around like he had no idea what was going on. I put the book down and firmly told baby that we do not throw toys at people, unless it’s someone Mommy doesn’t like. At this point I gave up trying to study, deciding to do it during baby’s nap time. I settle in on the floor to play. Sensing his victory, baby boy walks away, wanting nothing to do with me. Are you kidding me with this?!