My family and I decided to beat the heat yesterday by enjoying a day at a local “splash pad”. While waiting to purchase tickets, I met a very kind old man who was in line directly behind me.
He said “You need to put some sunscreen on!” to which I replied “Oh, I did.” I’m lying, I don’t have sunscreen on.
“I don’t see it on you.” he stated matter-of-fact. “No, really.” I insisted “I used my son’s baby sunblock. It’s like SPF 50 or something like that.” (I even pointed at my baby to further convince him that I wasn’t a liar.) Are you kidding me?! I just got called out by this guy that doesn’t even know me. How does he know I’m lying? Did my mother send him?
“Well, you know, you’re practically invisible! With skin as light as yours you really should use sunscreen. You’ll be red as a lobster if you don’t!” Oh my gosh. Didn’t this guy know that ever since Edward Cullen went all Hollywood pale is the new tan? I already told him that I had sunscreen on. If he didn’t believe my lie, then I just don’t know what to tell him!
He shook his head from side to side, letting me know that he was aware of my lie, and disappointed that I wasn’t taking better care of myself. While I was very grateful for the concern this gentleman had for my health, he was making me feel sort of awkward, standing there, caught in my little lie as he judged me. Then I remembered who I am. I am not the victim of awkward moments, I am the creator of them. So I took control of the situation.
With a sweet smile on my face, I looked him right in the eye and said “Well, really, my bathing suit covers the most important parts of me that I wouldn’t want sunburned.” Motioning to my boobs and my girl goodies I leaned in a bit closer, lowered my voice and in a tone that would indicate I was revealing some sort of top-secret information I continued “At least we know the girls and their pet bunny will be safe.”
I faced forward for a short time, and when I turned around the gentleman was gone. I never saw him again, and I was left wondering…was it something I said?