Conversations Between a Stranger, Myself, and My Inner Voice

My family and I decided to beat the heat yesterday by enjoying a day at a local “splash pad”.  While waiting to purchase tickets, I met a very kind old man who was in line directly behind me.

He said “You need to put some sunscreen on!” to which I replied “Oh, I did.”  I’m lying, I don’t have sunscreen on.

“I don’t see it on you.” he stated matter-of-fact. “No, really.” I insisted “I used my son’s baby sunblock.  It’s like SPF 50 or something like that.”  (I even pointed at my baby to further convince him that I wasn’t a liar.)  Are you kidding me?!  I just got called out by this guy that doesn’t even know me.  How does he know I’m lying?  Did my mother send him? 

“Well, you know, you’re practically invisible!  With skin as light as yours you really should use sunscreen.  You’ll be red as a lobster if you don’t!”  Oh my gosh. Didn’t this guy know that ever since Edward Cullen went all Hollywood pale is the new tan?   I already told him that I had sunscreen on.  If he didn’t believe my lie, then I just don’t know what to tell him! 

He shook his head from side to side, letting me know that he was aware of my lie, and disappointed that I wasn’t taking better care of myself.  While I was very grateful for the concern this gentleman had for my health, he was making me feel sort of awkward, standing there, caught in my little lie as he judged me.  Then I remembered who I am.  I am not the victim of awkward moments, I am the creator of them.  So I took control of the situation.

With a sweet smile on my face, I looked him right in the eye and said “Well, really, my bathing suit covers the most important parts of me that I wouldn’t want sunburned.”  Motioning to my boobs and my girl goodies I leaned in a bit closer, lowered my voice and in a tone that would indicate I was revealing some sort of top-secret information I continued “At least we know the girls and their pet bunny will be safe.”

I faced forward for a short time, and when I turned around the gentleman was gone.  I never saw him again, and I was left wondering…was it something I said?


12 responses to “Conversations Between a Stranger, Myself, and My Inner Voice

  1. your pet bunny? well played!


    • Thanks! The name varies depending on the audience. I didn’t want to give this poor old guy a heart attack. Pet Bunny sounded harmless. Thanks for stopping in! 🙂


  2. lisa you just to funny , but really I would of grabbed your sun screen and put it on you.


    • Thanks! By the way,who is this? I need to know so I can determine how I feel about you wanting to put sunscreen on me. I’m not sure if I should be flattered, creeped out, or indifferent. 🙂


  3. 1wanderingtruthseeker

    You go girl! I so look forward to your posts. They give me the belly laughs!


  4. Pale is the new tan? I’m glad to hear this, I have skin that bursts into flames when it’s exposed to sunlight.


    • Hahaha! That’s funny! Yes, didn’t you get the memo? We are the hot ones these days. Thanks for leaving such a great comment! You had me cracking up over here. 🙂


  5. You are FUNNY! BTW, you kept referring to him as a gentleman. Methinks the term interfering old bastard sounds better;-)


  6. That’s hysterical!! 🙂


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