Careers I’ll Never Have

I’ve recently started school with the hopes of eventually becoming a nurse.  I will be continuing this path, although due to extremely discouraging comments made by almost everyone, I’ve decided to look into other possible careers that would make me happy.  If I’m going to put myself through hell, then I’d like to be a hundred percent sure it’s what I want to do.  I haven’t really been able to find a career path, other than nursing, that would make me happy and pay the bills.  I have found a few career choices that I just know I’d never be good at.  For instance:

Police Officer.  Don’t give me a gun and stick me in the middle of a town full of idiots.  Someone would lose a kneecap.  I’m just saying.  Also, putting on a bullet proof vest and the utility belt adds an instant twenty pounds.  It’s like being pregnant every time you work!  Add to that PMS and summertime heat, honestly, the criminals wouldn’t stand a chance.  I’d be in jail by the end of my first day.

Custodian.  I hate cleaning and I’m pretty sure I’m allergic to it.  Also, I break everything I touch.  “Honey can you fix this?” and “Uh-Oh” are common phrases around here.

Stripper.  I’m not very graceful.  (Think Jamie Lee Curtis in True Lies during the bedroom scene)  I’d get stuck in my bra and end up twisting and turning on stage, with my arm stuck behind my head and my hair caught in the clasp of my pretty, lacy death trap.

President of a large corporation.  I just don’t have the time or energy to sleep my way to the top.

Assassin.  I’m not a fan of creating violence.  Also, I’m a horrible shot.

I guess I’d better keep looking.  As of now, nursing is still the best fit, but I’m always open for suggestions!  Does anyone have a job they absolutely love most of the time?

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27 responses to “Careers I’ll Never Have

  1. How about a princess I think you would do fine with that!

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  2. 1wanderingtruthseeker

    the best job I ever had was emergency dispatch. I sat on my a&& and talked. I also like being in the middle of what’s going on. I thought about nursing but I don’t like sick people.

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    • LOL! The worst is sick people that don’t know how to cover their mouths when they cough. Emergency dispatch sounds interesting. I have a few friends in that line of work. 🙂 Thanks for leaving a comment!

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  3. Ugh! Those turkeys! Don’t let them discourage you Lisa. I went back to school for nursing at 25 and it was the best decision ever. I gave up a job where I wore suits (those were so cute for a while- but my dry cleaning bill was almost = to my rent!), pantyhose (nuff said) and high heels (ditto). I now have a job where I wear scrubs (=PJs, but more figure flattering), sneakers and don’t even have to shave my legs (of course, they’re always smooth as silk). You’ll also be more likely to find your best friends hanging out in hospital nursing, especially labor/delivery. Jobs aren’t knocking on your door, but they’re still out there. In a few years, more and more of us old bats will retire and then the jobs will be there for picking!
    (side benefit-just between us…if your patient has an epidural she has little-no control over some things. You can eat a cabbage-bean-roadkill sub for lunch and everyone in the room will blame it on her. Not that I’ve ever done that…. 😉 )

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    • Thank you SO much for the words of encouragement and for leaving a post that made me laugh! You had me at “don’t even have to shave my legs.” There is no better job perk, as far as I’m concerned! My goal is to work in Maternity, possibly labor/delivery one day. Thanks again for leaving such a great post.

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  4. Hang in there…

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  5. If making radical career changes ever becomes a career, I will finally be at the top of my game. I have dressed up as the Planter’s Peanut and wouldn’t suggest doing this if you are short. My peanut had no legs. Just a shell. I was a collections officer. If you don’t like the taste of Gaviscon, don’t do this. Stomach acid is a bitch. I have been a make-up artist. This was okay, but you really need a steady hand. People don’t like getting poked in the eye. I have worked in a bank. Again, if you are short no one can see you over the teller’s wicket. And it is not much fun if you hate numbers. Or if, like me, you’re a germaphobe. Money is dirty. And here is a little nugget of irony–I worked as a Career Counsellor. I would only recommend this if you can make a career decision. Note that I no longer do this.

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  6. Haha. You can see my current entry and see why people are absolutely tired of me talking about school, careers, etc. It’s sick I tell you!

    My job is boring, also in the health care field and is wildly underpaid when compared to nurses. We also need to become licensed in my state and even though I am required to have a B.S., a nurse with an A.S. will still earn tens of thousands of dollars more than me every year. Stick with nursing.

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  7. Hey Lisa. Just finished Nursing school and it is awesome! It is extremely rewarding and has great pay! Now that being said, school was absolutely grueling. 2 years of Hell! But worth it. Plus in the very first quarter you will get clinicals and get to spend time with patients, then you can decide if it’s for you or not so you don’t waste 2 years.

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    • Thank you so much for sharing! It’s encouraging to hear from someone who’s been there and survived! I’m intimidated. I’m not gonna lie. 🙂

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  8. Nursing is a great job, a job with honor and integrity. But also a lot of responsibility. I think you’re up for it. The country, the world needs a lot more nurses. Hop to it! Eff the naysayers.

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  9. Everyone loves an awkward stripper! Go for it! It would lead to even better blogging!

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  10. Stick with nursing… if you think it will make you happy it’s right for you. Besides I believe there aren’t enough caring nurses out there and from what I’ve seen of your sense of humor you would be a ray of sunshine to people who need some. As far as fun jobs go, I loved writing for the local paper the hours were great but the pay sucked. So for now I’m writing for free and training as a tequila tester… lol. Have a great weekend!

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    • Oooh! I wonder if there’s an opening for vodka tester? Now there’s something I’d be good at. Thanks so much for weighing in with your advice. It was a really nice compliment you gave me about my sense of humor!

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  11. like the way you write plus you make me giggle, so i tagged you. find out how to keep it going here: http://howtoonlinedate.wordpress.com/

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  12. I’m still trying to figure out what I want to be when I grow up. I’ll probably still be looking the day I die. Lol

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  13. I’m a massage instructor! Come to massage school. In California….

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