Adventures with Siri

I make no effort to hide the fact that I don’t like machines that talk to me.  It’s unnatural and slightly creepy.  I saw “I, Robot”.  I know how this ends, and I’ll have no part of it.  My husband, however, loves to collect all the latest creations of modern technology.  So awhile back, I had the displeasure of meeting “Siri”.   Siri is a personal assistant application for an iPhone.  I viewed Siri with the same disgust as I would a mistress.  She was a sassy know-it-all, and I knew from the beginning we would not get along.  Of course the kids loved her.  My daughter stayed up all night talking with her, and Siri made my son laugh the way only I, his real mother, used to.

At one point, my teenage son asked Siri to “show me your boobs” to see what kind of response he would get.  She gave him directions to seven local strip clubs.  My son then asked her to marry him, to which she replied “I barely know you.  Let’s just be friends.”  My daughter asked Siri “Do you like me?” to which Siri replied “I am a computer.  I am incapable of emotions”.  My daughter then asked “Where do you live?” to which Siri replied “I am tired of these arbitrary questions.”  Really Siri?  I thought you were incapable of emotions, and now you’re “tired” of these questions?  I’m sorry, do you have something better to do?

My husband tried to show me how useful she was at sending me a text.  He tried to tell her what he wanted to text me, but she kept misinterpreting his words.  After about five failed attempts at getting Siri to understand him, I ended up with a text that would have made more sense if auto-correct had interfered.  Another time, he tried to send “I love you” to me, but somehow Siri ended up sending me a text that said something like “Bitch, I don’t like you either.”

The novelty of Siri has worn off, and I don’t hear from her much anymore.  I’m curious to see what they’ll come up with next.


11 responses to “Adventures with Siri

  1. They’re all just gimics to get you to buy their product. If they really wanted to make phones more useful they’d include a bottle opener on the side and integrated headphones.


    • Nuke! Nice to see you. I think you’re on to something there with that bottle opener idea. I’d prefer my phone to double as a wine glass somehow. You should invent that.


  2. It has also made me lose all respect for John Malkovich. I mean, yeah, he’s a great actor (see how he pretends to laugh when Siri tells a joke…but wait, she had only two words out of her mouth when he started laughing…isn’t that overplaying it a bit, John? Hmmm, mayhap he isn’t the great actor I used to think he was…


  3. Since you asked what they’d come up with next… even though you like wine, this app is pretty neat!


    • Oh my gosh, Baz, that was hilarious! Where can I get one of those? Yes, I prefer wine, however I’ll take unlimited beer too! Beer pong, anyone? Thanks for sharing such a great link!


  4. Fantastic blog sight–Lisa rocks!


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