Vagina Doctor Etiquette

If I’m being completely honest, my yearly visit with the Vagina Doctor isn’t such a dreaded thing for me.  I get to lay in peace and quiet, and since my girl goodies are hanging out, nobody expects me to get up and do anything for them.  I have learned a few things about what is considered “inappropriate” during a visit.  I’d like to share them with you.

1.  It is “inappropriate” to rest your ankles on the Doctor’s shoulders.  You’re supposed to use the stir-ups.

2.  It is “inappropriate” to leave your panties out.  You have to fold them neatly and then hide them in your clothes.  It’s okay for the Doctor to see your Vajayjay, but not your underwear.

3.  It is “inappropriate” to tell the Doctor that “the only people allowed to see your unmentionables are your Doctor and paying customers”.  The Doctor doesn’t think it’s funny and you’ll get a lecture on STD’s.

4.  It is “inappropriate” to look the Doctor in the eyes when he’s doing the exam.

5.  It is “inappropriate” to tip your Doctor, even if he did an outstanding job.

6.  After the exam is over, it is “inappropriate” to hop off of the table, put on rubber gloves and exclaim “Okay!  Your turn now”.

7.  It is “inappropriate” to play porno music on your iPod during the exam.

Thanks for stopping in!  Have a great weekend.  🙂

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29 responses to “Vagina Doctor Etiquette

  1. I had to email this to my girlfriend. So good.

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  2. There you go talking about your vagina again. Still love it.

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    • Yeah, I’m kind of an expert on my vagina. Plus, vagina is common ground. All women have them, most men like them. Almost everyone can relate!

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  3. My bf is asleep, I want to wake him up so I can read this to him 🙂

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  4. It is “inappropriate” to smoke a cigarette once he’s finished his exam”. Sorry, had a moment. Loved this Lisa! Brings back fond memories of the term “Scooch”.

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  5. Number 2 right?! These are so funny!

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    • Thank you! I was supposed to have my annual Vagina exam on October 31st and I thought it’d be funny to tape some spiderwebs down there, with a “Happy Halloween” message on my thighs. I ended up missing my appointment, but my Doctor would have appreciated the humor.

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  6. Oh Lisa, Lisa… this one made me laugh so hard I cried.

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  7. I had a lot of vagina jokes…but I keep erasing them. Someday comment box. Some day…

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  8. Hilarious! Just stopped in from Freshly Pressed and I’m glad I did! Your blog looks fun and full of humor! I’m looking forward to reading more 🙂

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  9. I laughed until I cried AND peed myself. So glad I found your blog!

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  10. I was surprised to find myself stopping to read a female-oriented blog. But, damn if it isn’t inspired and genuinely funny. I’ll be a follower from now on.

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    • Thank you! I think this is the most flattering compliment I’ve gotten since I started blogging! I had to call my mother to make sure you weren’t on her payroll. 🙂 It’s the vagina talk, isn’t it? It works every time. I’m really glad that you’re following my blog! I’m already a fan of your blog, and I’ve only had a chance to read the first few posts. I’m hooked! 🙂

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  11. I love #7 especially! This is funny 🙂

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    • LOL #7 would create a fantastically awkward moment. I’m glad you enjoyed this post. Thank you for stopping in and leaving a comment! 🙂

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  12. Oh my. Oh my. I want to print this out and take it to my next appt. Maybe ask my Doc if he wouldn’t mind reviewing the list with me. Oh my. I’m laughing just thinking about it. THANK YOU!!!!!

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  13. I absolutely love this! I’m a labor & delivery nurse- let’s just say there’s a bit of cross over there.

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  14. This post would make any VJJ bearing woman want to follow your blog… haha! Loved it!!!

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