How I Accidentally Broke My Scale. By Smashing It Against The Wall.

I don’t really struggle with my weight.  In fact, gaining weight comes very easily to me.  I once gained twenty pounds just from driving by a Dunkin Donuts.  And by “driving by” I mean driving by the window and grabbing a dozen Boston Creme Donuts.  I have absolutely no self-control when it comes to those donuts.  Well after I couldn’t fit into my clothes, and I really like my clothes, I decided it was time to work my ass off…literally.  After almost three months of three exercise programs a day for six days a week, and a diet that demanded I drink most of my meals, I was down twenty pounds, my ass was two inches higher than when I started, and I was back into my awesome wardrobe!  So I catch a lot of flack for drinking Slim Fast for lunch, because I’m “skinny” and what do I need to diet for?  Really?  Well first off, thank you for calling me skinny.  Secondly, I don’t just wake up skinny, I work my ass off to fit into my jeans.  I’m always hungry but can’t eat anything that I like, I hate exercising and sometimes wonder why I bother.  I know how suckish it feels to look in the mirror and hate what you see.  So the last few months, for reasons beyond my control (hunger and laziness), I have gained back a few of my pounds.  All of that hard work is slipping away from me.  I went out and bought some McDonald’s and Jillian’s 30 day shred.  I was very disappointed after working hard for twenty minutes, and suffering what I can only assume was a mini heart attack, that my weight remained the same, and also, I didn’t have a six-pack.  What the hell?  Why does my scale tell lies?  I guess I’ll have to keep working.  In the meantime, I’ll take comfort in knowing that my belly may be a little soft, but with a rack like this, who gives a shit?

Not my actual “rack”


14 responses to “How I Accidentally Broke My Scale. By Smashing It Against The Wall.

  1. Pictures or it didn’t happen. LOL. I was specifically referring to the “rack like this” part in case you were wondering. And no, I don’t expect pictures (I do expect pictures). And no, I’m not being serious (I am being serious).


  2. Ignore that guy that commented above. He must be full of testosterone today…jeez…some people…great post. See, I commented about you post…because I appreciate your brains. That jerk…


  3. Will both of you shut up. She’s married. Get a life.

    …I hate myself sometimes…


  4. I agree. Something is wrong with our scale.


  5. that is funny! My pantry multiplies like bunnies too


  6. That’s our baby girl! Keep up the good writing.


  7. I can’t stop laughing at your posts. I love them. I’m now following you. Your writing style, is also one of my own 🙂


    • Thank you for the compliment, and thank you very much for following my blog! I’m so glad my posts make you laugh! You make it fun for me to write!


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