How I Accidentally Broke My Scale. By Smashing It Against The Wall.

I don’t really struggle with my weight.  In fact, gaining weight comes very easily to me.  I once gained twenty pounds just from driving by a Dunkin Donuts.  And by “driving by” I mean driving by the window and grabbing a dozen Boston Creme Donuts.  I have absolutely no self-control when it comes to those donuts.  Well after I couldn’t fit into my clothes, and I really like my clothes, I decided it was time to work my ass off…literally.  After almost three months of three exercise programs a day for six days a week, and a diet that demanded I drink most of my meals, I was down twenty pounds, my ass was two inches higher than when I started, and I was back into my awesome wardrobe!  So I catch a lot of flack for drinking Slim Fast for lunch, because I’m “skinny” and what do I need to diet for?  Really?  Well first off, thank you for calling me skinny.  Secondly, I don’t just wake up skinny, I work my ass off to fit into my jeans.  I’m always hungry but can’t eat anything that I like, I hate exercising and sometimes wonder why I bother.  I know how suckish it feels to look in the mirror and hate what you see.  So the last few months, for reasons beyond my control (hunger and laziness), I have gained back a few of my pounds.  All of that hard work is slipping away from me.  I went out and bought some McDonald’s and Jillian’s 30 day shred.  I was very disappointed after working hard for twenty minutes, and suffering what I can only assume was a mini heart attack, that my weight remained the same, and also, I didn’t have a six-pack.  What the hell?  Why does my scale tell lies?  I guess I’ll have to keep working.  In the meantime, I’ll take comfort in knowing that my belly may be a little soft, but with a rack like this, who gives a shit?

Not my actual “rack”

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14 responses to “How I Accidentally Broke My Scale. By Smashing It Against The Wall.

  1. Pictures or it didn’t happen. LOL. I was specifically referring to the “rack like this” part in case you were wondering. And no, I don’t expect pictures (I do expect pictures). And no, I’m not being serious (I am being serious).

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  2. Ignore that guy that commented above. He must be full of testosterone today…jeez…some people…great post. See, I commented about you post…because I appreciate your brains. That jerk…

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  3. Will both of you shut up. She’s married. Get a life.

    …I hate myself sometimes…

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  4. I agree. Something is wrong with our scale.

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  5. that is funny! My pantry multiplies like bunnies too

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  6. That’s our baby girl! Keep up the good writing.

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  7. I can’t stop laughing at your posts. I love them. I’m now following you. Your writing style, is also one of my own 🙂

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    • Thank you for the compliment, and thank you very much for following my blog! I’m so glad my posts make you laugh! You make it fun for me to write!

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