Pet Peeves

When people say “A bird in the hand is worth two in the bush”. Okay, I don’t even know what that means, and I don’t like birds. I don’t want a bird in my hand OR in my bush. Wait…

Kool-Aid mustaches.

People with Pet Peeves. Yes I see the hypocrisy but I’m just trying to be honest.

When people in front of me drive slow. Look, if you want to obey the law, great! I won’t judge you. Just move the hell out of my way so I can go back to living on the edge!

People who are afraid to kill a spider. I’ve already laid claim to the right to be that person and I hate when I’m shrieking in the corner and nobody will kill the damn spider.

Not being carded when I’m ordering an alcoholic beverage. I don’t care if I’m a hundred and three years old. When my wrinkled ass walks up to a bar and orders a shot of whiskey, the only words I want to hear out of the bartenders mouth is “Young lady, I’ll need to see some I.D.”.

That I have to shave my legs. Society dictates that a woman must shave her legs. Well I’m a part of this society and nobody ever asked me. I didn’t get a phone call or take a survey or anything! Who makes these rules?

When somebody younger than me calls me “sweetie”. It comes across like you’re trying to nurture me.  See this wrinkle?  It means I’m past the point of nurturing.

When people say “No offense, but…”.  Let me stop you right there to let you know that, I’m not trying to offend YOU, but I don’t really care to hear the rest of your sentence.

When my husband falls asleep while I’m talking to him. Are you freaking kidding me?!?

 

Thanks for reading my post!

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4 responses to “Pet Peeves

  1. Love this! I once devoted an entire blog post about my biggest pet peeve ~ people adding “how are you?” to a hello. I mean does the person taking my order at Taco Bell reeeally want to know how I am?! One of these days I am going to grow some balls and answer with… “I just found out my husband is cheating on me, my dad is dying of cancer, I lost my job, and my dog died, but other than that I’m just peachy how bout you?” True story by the way…

    Like

    • Hi Jewels!
      That is hilarious! Not the horrible things happening to you, but the image I have of the Taco Bell employee being speechless with that answer of yours! I can totally relate to your pet peeve, and once considered answering with “I’m great! I just got laid.” I’m a big fan of TMI and awkward moments.
      Thank you so much for following!

      Like

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